Fan Rp - MAlec - THE DEATH OF CLARY! (c) Cassandra Clare

"I don't think you get fifty pounds in one go from all this food," Alec said before understanding Isabelle said the same thing as an expression. "Um, never mind that." Hopefully Max wouldn't be as slow as he was with people, Alec wasn't stupid, but sarcasm often escaped him, jokes were over his head more than not. He wasn't a people person, he just didn't get them. Animals now, that was different. Animals were easy to get. Feed them, love them, all done.

Magnus bit back a snicker when Alec pointed out the obvious. He was starting to catch on quicker with his sarcasm, and he was sure that after a few more years his lover could use sarcasm of his own. It would be an interesting change, but he thought he might miss the confused part of him. "I could. I'm magic, don't forget" he pointed out, grinning. He could gain a thousand pounds in one go if he really wanted to. Not that he did. He was fine with his rail thin frame.

"Um, you can manipulate how much you weigh or how fast you gain weight?" Alec asked, since he didn't know much about what Warlocks could do with magic on themselves.

"Can you magik other people's weight too?" Isabelle asked, curious. It seemed to perk the ladies' ears. Every woman wanted weight control, just one of the things they liked. They had to know they were pretty or something was going to get it.

"Well, not exactly, but in a sense I can" Magnus said, thinking about how to explain it. It was more complicated than that. "I can make myself larger or smaller in a general sense, like a growth spell, or I could mess with the general mass, but it's not exactly the same. Sorry Isabelle" he grinned slightly. If he could actually do that, he'd have Downworlder women at his door at all hours. In all technicalities, warlock magic could be rather restricted, unless one was extremely accomplished, which was what it took to be the High Warlock of somewhere.

Isabelle, let down just like Jocelyn and Maryse, sighed. The men at the table didn't know what the big idea was. No one at this table was overweight, the only one with any extra fat was Skylar because he needed it and would grow out of it in time. Women were somewhat vain, had to look good or they weren't satisfied. Actually, they weren't anyway. They never were. They were difficult to understand, and once you thought you understood them it turns out you really don't. Alec had given up when Izzy was a child.

Magnus laughed slightly, knowing none of the guys there would really understand, except him. He understood many feminine things, such as breaking a nail. That really was a tragedy. "I feel your pain" he nodded, even if he didn't have to worry about his weight, he did occasionally. If his stomach was anything but flat, such as after eating, he tended to internally panic sometimes, worried that he was going to get fat. But he had a marvelous metabolism that helped him with his image. Being stuck as a teenager for all eternity always helped too.

"Of course you do, Magnus," Isabelle said. She flipped her hair over her shoulder after pulling whip cream off a strand. "You're almost twice the female I am." Alec didn't know if that was an insult or not, Magnus could take it or leave it as either or, he supposed. Isabelle was kind of manly for a female sometimes. She liked burping contests that she rarely won against Jace. She liked proving she wasn't a helpless female, and her height, for female, didn't really make her seem fragile or delicate. Stilettos didn't help much either, they made her taller and scarier.

Magnus wasn't sure whether to be offended or not, but chose not to be, simply raising an eyebrow. "This is true" he accepted, "but who here concieved a child?" he asked, poking Alec in the side teasingly, meaning nothing by it. He was just holding onto his bit of manlyness. Being the dominant in his relationship. And the fact that he could kick ass any day. Alec was the more manly out of the two of them, he knew, but he didn't really care. Feminism was nothing scary for him.

"Well," Alec pouted, not liking being called out for feminine but knowing there was no harm or offense behind the words. "Mom had a kid too." He didn't know if not calling Jocelyn was offending or not, saying she had a kid would bring back Clary moments. "Isabelle could too. Females here can have kids." He had included her technically, just hadn't said her name directly. They probably all knew to include her but not say it aloud.

"Yes, well" Magnus gave a bemused smile, wondering why he came up with that argument. "Your mother has a uterus, along with all women" he pointed out, unsure if Alec understood why he had pointed out that he had Skylar, but he didn't really care. "You just happen to be a man. Albeit, my man, but still a man" he shrugged. He was magic, so it changed things, but not by much. He had noticed that he had excluded Jocelyn in that, which was probably for the best. Memories didn't need to be brought up even more than they already were.

"Um, okay." Alec wasn't sure why this was continuing again. He'd let it drop, or just let Izzy take over for him. She was good at that, filling in awkward silences when she wasn't the one encouraging them. "Err, the food was good, Mom," he said, Isabelle and Max following his lead as they remembered manners they had been taught but didn't need to use that often around each other. "Skylar's gonna love it when we can eat solids," he said, since maybe tastebuds had passed through genes too.

Magnus bit back a sigh at the silence he'd caused, once again. He hadn't socialized with many people other than Isabelle and Alec for a long time, which he knew had to change. He was losing his touch. Making Alec embarassed wasn't a rare occurrance, but around his family it tended to just get awkward. "Yes, it was very good" he agreed, nodding. "How long is it until he can eat solids anyways?" he asked, looking curiously around the table, all of whom should know other than Max.

"A bit of time," Isabelle answered. "He's not really close enough to be eating solids. Wait until he gets teeth." When they were teething, they were quite a pain. Isabelle baby sat very rarely, or used to. She always got stuck with the ones that were teething. "I bet they really like those plastic rings when they need to relieve the stress of gums breaking through." Isabelle and Alec had a heck of time with Max teething, him always, always crying, chewing on something. He'd throw the plastic at them because it wasn't enough to stop the pain.

Magnus nodded when Isabelle explained. That made sense. He knew Skylar didn't have teeth yet, and had wondered when they would grow in, but had passed his thoughts off, knowing he would know when they did start, and that was all that mattered. "Hmm. You'd think chewing on plastic wouldn't help much, teething or not" he frowned, thinking about it. Coming from an old man, chewing on plastic wouldn't be fun, but he guessed babies didn't care. Apparently it helped, somehow.

"It's nice plastic, all rubbery and stuff. It has little bumps in it for whatever purposes of helping soothe them." Baby items hadn't been seen in the house in ages. Alec hadn't touched anything like it in what seemed like forever ago, until he had Skylar. Children were complicated, proving human evolution, how they could learn little things every day that would impact their life in some way as they got older. Human life was amazing, and at the same time, it was the same, pathetic cycle that happened to everyone while those who had had their turn around watched as someone else got a turn. Immortality might fix that, at least on the him taking his turn. He wouldn't be finishing his. He'd be watching everyone else's though.

"Mhmm. . . a bit odd, although I can't be one to speak" things like this seemed a bit bizarre to Magnus, despite how he had lived his whole life. It was just weird, babies chewing on plastic to make them feel better while they teethed. If his gums hurt, the last thing he would want to do would be to chew on plastic. "I'm kindof glad they didn't have things like that around when I was a baby" he frowned, thinking about it. Way back when children had to suck it up.

"Hm, well, whatever works," Isabelle said. She thought in her own modest not really opinion she was good at taking care of kids. She had refrained from yelling at Max as a baby because she had been told not to, and Alec would get mad if she did. Plus, it never did stop Max from crying. She had to learn patience there in that one, which only took forever, in her record books. She didn't think she wanted to do it again, though a little bit of baby sitting Skylar was okay. Not for long times and not that often, but she'd be fine taking care of him.

((deffinitly just closed my post T_T))

"This is true" Magnus agreed, nodding. He knew that no matter how strange it may seem to him, it shouldn't matter, because it obviously worked. If it didn't, somebody would have figured it out by now. So if chewing on a hunk of plastic helped Skylar, he would get him a hunk of plastic when he needed it. Magnus picked up the candy cane on the table in front of him that he had been working on and stuck it back in his mouth.

((Closed your post?))

"Ew, you just eat pumpkin pie with whip cream and then go back to the peppermint flavor?"Alec thought of Izzy's point, and didn't see much of a problem with it.

"Ah, leave him be," he told his sister, "when did Magnus have normal tastes?" Magnus said he ate strange things when he had been craving, and while that was true, at least he still didn't do it now. He had heard the things he ate, and wasn't sure he wanted to try those things again.

((well, i closed the window. By accident. It sucked))

There was no problem with that, Magnus thought, but then again he found no problem with a lot of things. He grinned around his candy cane when Alec stuck up for him against his sister. "Exactly. I've never been the most normal crayon in the box" he enjoyed his being different, since most people led boring lives. His life had been interesting so far, and he didn't think it was about to change any time soon.

"That's a cool way of putting it," Luke said, grinning, pushing his glasses up farther on the bridge of his nose. He used corny ones, boring ones that took some people a moment to understand. Or worse yet, he had to explain them to the clueless people, who either still didn't get it, or didn't think it was funny to begin with. He liked people with a sense of humor. Not that he didn't like Alec and all, but Alec wasn't someone to joke around with, or in the very least be sarcastic with. "What else do you have in your arsenal?" He wouldn't mind some paper to write these down for later, actually.

Magnus flashed a grin at Luke. He knew that the werewolf liked his fair share of humor, but sometimes he had the same problem as the warlock did, with people not understanding. He was getting better with simplifying things for Alec, and Alec was getting better at understanding him, so he wasn't having as much trouble with the sarcasm there. "I've got more than you'd know what to do with" he had some from hundreds of years ago that would make sense to none of the people in the room, and some that were completely modern, as well as everything in between.

"I know what I'd do with them," Luke said with a roll of his eyes. That was like asking if Clary knew what to do with art supplies when he bought it for her and didn't know what to do with it. "Sarcasm is my middle name," he explained, and then stopped before Alec got confused and said, "Which is also sarcasm." Alec made a face, even he knew that. Jace taught him that after a few times of Alec correcting him or asking why his middle name was sarcasm.

Magnus laughed slightly when Alec made a face, knowing he knew that one. He had used the middle name one various times. He had many self proclaimed middle names. "Sarcasm is my first name. Magnus is just an alias, because Sarcasm is a bit of an odd name" not that Magnus wasn't, but that didn't matter. He quite liked his name, and how unique it was. He thought it suited him anyways, with the Latin translation.

"I already know that one," Alec said, rolling his eyes. He did learn, just, very slowly, and much repetition was involved, along with very obvious pointing out that it was sarcasm. He definitely wasn't impossible if his record was a week or two for learning the joke. He had been really good at learning that the sarcasm in the name was a joke because Jace would hit him over the head when Alec very seriously told him it wasn't. Alec would hit him back and a fight would start, causing Alec to remember why that fight started and to learn from it.